Bittersweet news about our adoption.
There is a concept widely accepted and repeated in the adoption community, “Best case scenario for the baby is to stay with their biological family”. Now of course there are exceptions when abuse or harm is involved, but overarching this statement is held as truth.
When we met our birth mom, not even 2 weeks ago, we were so filled with anticipation and amazement. We learned about different aspects of her family life and history and this gave us fuel for prayers for her and the baby she was carrying. Our prayers centered around her health, his future well being and overall that she would feel cared for.
As we were getting ready for an ultrasound scheduled for Monday we began to feel her pull away, cutting off communication. This drastic change in behavior was confusing to us, but we wanted to give her space. As we got to the weekend and had not heard back from her it was becoming clear that she wanting some space. When we did get in touch she let us know she had cancelled the ultrasound and “was figuring things out for herself”.
Our prayers then shifted; God, help her know what to do. Give her strength. Bring restoration to her life, so she can flourish and be a mom. We give up our rights to bring her baby home. I trust you, Lord, that your will be done.
In response to those prayers, on Monday we received some bittersweet news. She had her beautiful, healthy son, over the weekend and was moving back with family up North to parent him there. This was a shock to us, but when we began to process more, we realized God had moved and our prayers were heard.
Our hearts were initially very heavy, but this story is not a story of grief, it is a story of redemption. This is a story about a mother and son who will be together and not torn apart by any life circumstance. It’s a story about a boy who will get to know his rather large biological family and never wonder what they are like, because he has touched and heard and witnesses them first hand.
And this is our story, that God brought this woman and her child into our lives, for nothing else perhaps, than to pray for them. Our prayers were costly, they didn’t revolve around the outcome we had hopeful expectation for. But God’s name has been glorified through this up and down journey, and that is a satisfaction nothing else in this world can bring.
God has another baby for us. We don’t know when or who or how. We stand firm in this though because we trust not in man, but in the power and might of the Lord.
Thank you to everyone for the outpouring of support you have extended to us. We felt an update was important because you are on this journey with us.
Don’t let this story scare you, don’t let it make you timid or believe that adoption is emotionally too difficult. It is hard, but most of life’s greatest victories come from sacrifice and perseverance and of course, a lot of costly prayers.
As always we will keep you update as we continue to move forward.